Privacy is relative and it comes in many forms. When flying, I currently solve that problem by going first class but in years past, I criss-crossed the Atlantic in coach.
Never, however, without having a reservation for an aisle seat. That way I could edge away from the captive in the middle seat and also get up and walk around whenever the spirit moved me. (The spirit moves me quite often.)
On one memorable occasion, however, I boarded an Iberian airliner in Boston at the last possible moment. Although I started to congratulate myself on catching the plane, joy turned to horror when I discovered I'd somehow been re-assigned to a
middle seat!
PANIC! Better to be waterboarded than to get stuck in the middle seat all the way to Madrid! Fortunately, I always carry extra cash. I made my way upstream to see the flight attendant. I politely explained to her that I had booked an
aisle seat, that I was
claustrophobic, and that there was
no way I would make the flight in the middle seat. My plan, I said, was to march down the aisle holding up three $100 bills and offering them to any passenger who would trade my middle seat for an aisle seat. "
If that doesn't work," I told her,
"on the way back, I'll hold up $600 and if that doesn't work--"
"Keep your money," she said with a smile, "and come with me." She walked toward the rear of the plane and told a passenger that he was to trade places with me. The man rose without a murmur and I took his place.
On the aisle.
How had this miracle happened? No explanation was given but looking back, I think he was deadheading (getting a free flight as an airline employee) and had to take whatever was available.
So then, folks, whenever you travel coach, dress for business and carry some extra cash. If you're stuck in a middle seat, first politely check with a flight attendant. If that fails, then down the aisle you go, cash in hand and hand in the air. SMILE. On a shorter flight,
even a single Franklin might do it. Happy traveling!
Labels: air travel, cash bribe, deadheading, escape from center seat, middle seat
Privacy blog post by JJ Luna at 12:01 AM
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